GeekyArtistArabWoman - Lubzi

The juice of my heart

I call myself Lubzi. I am from Palestine. I live there too
I am a blend of cultures, a salad of sounds, colors & words. I like to create. I love learning. I aspire to inspire. I seek freedom, harmony, peace and justice. I like to be a bridge between hearts and minds, between people from different cultures and backgrounds.
Here you'll find my theatre sound designs, audio art pieces, some of my writings and sketches & all kinds of crazy mixes and audio experiments that I do.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

هاي مش ارض



هاي مش ارض
هاي ظهور وبطون وصدور بشر هاي
مش ارض
زي ناس عايشة في جزيرة
بيفلحوا وبيزرعوا وبيقلعوا
وفي يوم كل الدنيا بتتحرك بعنف
لأ مش زلزال
لا هاي الهزة العنيفة زلزال...
ولا هاي الجزيرة جزيرة..
هاي حوت كبير كتير
عمره آلاف السنين
وصحي


Sunday, March 25, 2012

How to score big on the power abuse charts even if you have very littlepower and privilige?

- Find someone much worst off than you who desperately needs help you can provide.
- offer the help and give a million assurances that you are the one who can help and support and solve the problems.
- be extra friendly, maybe even give gifts to this person
- as they grab onto the rope and start climbing , poor oil all over them. Make it all slippery. Then cut the rope. Then blame the person for not grabbing soon or strong or well enough. Blame them for being in the well and staying in the well and wasting the precious opportunity to be saved by you.
Don't forget to show your anger at the person and ensure they know what a looser they are.

25-Dec 2011

A realization




My illusion of freedom
Clouded my mind
I couldn't see
That I was just another house slave
I was no longer the field slave I was before
I was a domestic slave in the house of racism
Serving the queen of materialism
Empowering every evil
Helping crush my own bones

Feb 26


Dr Dr



Dr Dr
She acts as if she owns truth. Like she knows my body and owns it. Like she knows me more than I know me. Like I owe her. Like I have to listen and follow her opinions.
Mad woman.
Someone tell her to fuck off.
But she is a Dr!
Dr Dr..
Just because you have 2 letters before your name you think that makes you better, more relevant? Your opinions more valid? Your truth more real?
You think 2 letters before your name give you power over others?
You think 2 letters before your name give you power to decide who heals and who stays in pain,
Who lives and who dies?
Who do you think you are?
Dr ultimate
Dr perfect
Dr power trip
Dr God...
I declare my defiance
Fuck your throne
Dr fake
Dr pharma agent
Do you realize you hold the corrupt system together?
Dr Dumb ass


>= Feb 17


Stolen sisters

Indigenous men, women, children, grandmothers, white people, mixed people. A native boy called..., I forgot, some Arabic sounding name. Strange. My heart was heavy. I couldn't hold back my tears. I felt tremendous sadness. The sky started to cry. I was thankful. I felt less exposed. It rained good. My feet were wet. Cold and wet. I didn't like the feeling. I walked and walked. I saw my racism. I saw my ignorance. I saw many things on that day that I didn't see before.
A leftist ex-friend appeared. I hid behind people around me. No need. I couldn't handle the littlest thing. I hated the fact that he was there. I wished he would just vanish.
Drums, chanting, children, police, rain, dogs, colors, wet cold aching feet.
Brown people like me. I didn't see them before, not enough. The Palestinians of this land that I live on and love. I never took their permission to live on their homeland. The crown let me in, the queen seduced me with the Canadian dream. The Canadian illusion. The Canadian farce. The Canadian tragedy.

When I looked at your face I realized that my reality is nothing but a big fat lie. a sad joke.
I am not the Palestinian, you are.
I am an Israeli, a dark non Jew, a 3rd rate citizen of the Empire. Not a rebel. I was part of the machine for much longer and deeper than i thought. I was part of oppressing people just like me. I gave my days and nights to the racist empire .
I was the selfish one. Someone who applies different rules and standards on others but not on their own.
I looked at you and saw my pathetic truth, ugly truth, much uglier than I thought. Yet it was there all along. I couldn't see it. That is the ugliest part about this whole situation.
That I have been a house slave serving on the tables of the royalty. Pimping out my intellect. Prostituting my soul.
Stolen sisters. My sisters. They stole them? Who stole them? Why? I replaced the word indigenous with the word Palestinian. I felt deep grief and layers of shame. Shame of my littleness, smallness, years of blindness. 16 years. It took me 16 years to realize enough and feel enough to write this. Stupidity?! My ignorance was part of the problem. did I have to get kicked around this much to reach this realization? Wow, the stupidity. The slowness! Almost funny!
No one talked to me. Except the little native boy Malik, I think that was his name. A little puppy was friendly too. I cant expect the natives to be friendly. I don't deserve their friendliness. I am an imposter. If i was not, someone would've smiled at me, I am an imposter on both, black and white, I am not as brown as I thought. I'm not black or white either, of course. I felt green, like a martian, blue like sadness, I was walking inside a living 3d puzzle that was setup long time ago. I felt very short. I felt comically alone, surrounded by ghosts... bodies... human bags..
material creatures that are all disconnected from me. I floated above the ground like the spirit of the freshly dead.
I wasn't white or brown or black. I was grey, i was indigo.

Feb 28 maybe

One of the mysteries of the universe



Is: when did you stop loving me?
How come we're total strangers now?