Israeli soldiers in Nabi Saleh

I had a very interesting encounter and exchange with Israeli soldiers in Nabi Saleh. 

We started the weekly demonstrations in the early afternoon. There were about 50 protestors, about 10 of them were children. We headed towards the gate and soon after we started walking an army jeep showed up. Not soon after they started shooting gas grenades and sound bombs on us. I looked at the soldiers. They were very young. Two of them were women; really young women. They couldn't be older than 17 years old. 18 at most. 

I made a point to look them in the eyes with one question on my mind: why are you doing this? 

I stayed close to the soldiers because I've been told it's safer to be close to them because it's harder for them to shoot at close range. I looked at one of the women. She was short and had straight dark hair. She looked like she could be Asian. I walked beside her and asked her: why are you protecting oppression? Why are you protecting the occupation? 

You look like a nice young woman. I'm talking to you as a sister, a fellow woman. Please think. She looked at me with confused eyes. It felt like I was looking at a confused child. 

She said nothing, but I could tell that she was listening to what I said. I felt she was thinking and trying to reach something in her mind. 

March 27 2016

My racism

After suffering from racism I got involved with activists who work for justice. I met indigenous people who are working for their rights. I realized how similar they are to Palestinian refugees in refugee camps. Their conditions were worse that the conditions of Palestinians. I learned about their stories and the injustice that happened and still happens to them. I realized I was part of the system that oppresses them. I looked at the mirror and saw my ignorance and racism. I saw an Israeli. I realized my transgression. It took me 15 years to realize I'm part of the oppressing system. I was loosing my identity as a channel for justice and truth.

One native Canadian once told me to take my privilege and go home. I was hurt for a bit then realized that  a Palestinian refugee would say the same thing to an Israeli who is colonizing Palestine. He was right. I had no business being in his home land enjoying the privileges that the crown bestowed upon me. Even though I was only getting the crumbs, but that was much more that they got. My privilege was built on the suffering of others.  I had to decolonize. I had to go back to Palestine and work for truth and justice here and stand with the children of my homeland. Feeling my own racism that hurt others and working to right the wrong isn't ego. I was reclaiming my humanity and compassion that was drowned by the apathy and consumerism that came with my privilege. There was a huge contradiction between how I live and my mission in life, which is to be a channel of truth and justice. I was needed in Palestine to stand by the children of my homeland and help relief the suffering of injustice and ignorance . I felt I had the perspective of understanding the ignorance of  the colonizers.  I wanted to be a bridge between Palestinians and the Israeli oppressors. You might misunderstand my experience maybe because you haven't suffered from the pain if occupation. Your homeland is free but Palestine, who I think of as a living being, and that being is my mother, is still suffering greatly from the extreme violence and injustice of the Israeli occupation and racism. The children of Palestine suffer daily from this injustice and are murdered daily. I couldn't keep running away from the reality I was born in and responsibility towards the children of my motherland. When I came back, I threw myself in the arms of mother Palestine and submitted. I asked: how can I serve, and the answers came as people and opportunities to relief suffering and spread truth and build bridges. I'm not restricting myself to a role. I am drawn to building bridges of understanding by spreading truth and compassion.  

The world needs more people who have compassion and love to inspire people to be the best they can be. My purpose is to raise consciousness and increase compassion so that one day we can live in true peace, safety and love where all humans are equal and Mother Earth is respected and cherished. 

Happy new year everybody.

Happy new year everybody.  

I wish you all good health, safety, prosperity and  peace; inner and outer peace. 

May this year bring real justice and freedom to the oppressed. May all oppression and suffering end. 

May the power of the people overcome the people who abuse power. 

May those who cause suffering to other humans wake up to their humanity and overcome their egotistic destructive tendencies. 

May humanity rise above greed, violence and apathy. 

May love and compassion prosper in all hearts. 

May the power of love overcome hate and fear. 

May we experience a fantastic rise in human consciousness.

كل عام وكل الطيبين بخير وسلام وصحة ومحبة. 

Happy new year everybody. 

May this year bring justice, equality, freedom and true peace to the oppressed. 

May we see the end of the criminal ruling elite and the suffering they cause humanity. 

May we see more love and compassion and a rise in human consciousness.

I wish this will be the year of real peace, healing and prosperity for all of us.

Happy New Year كل عام وانتم بخير 

Row row row your boat..

Gently down the stream...

Merrily merrily merrily merrily..

Life is but a dream

A new year آمالِ

To my brothers and sisters, the children of Palestine 🇵🇸 in our homeland and abroad; I’m in another country now, away from you, but thinking of you all. 2018 is ending and a new fresh year is starting in a few hours. 

I have a message for you, a message from the heart 💚: 

It’s not easy to keep the faith and hope, faith in humanity and hope in justice, freedom and real peace. Please remember WE are of the chosen ones; chosen to live so much hardships and suffering yet stay human, tolerant and compassionate. We are chosen to receive so much injustice and pain, yet raise our children to hold on to hope and believe in the inevitability of true justice and real peace. 

“Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don't give up.”

― Anne Lamott

The darkest hour is just before the dawn. 

إِنَّ للآمالِ في أنفسِنا

لذةً تنعشُ منها ما ذَبلْ

لذةٌ يحلو بها الصبرُ على

غَمَراتِ العيشِ والخَطْبِ الجللْ

 

I don't fit here

 I don't fit here

I didn't fit there

It looks like 

I fit nowhere

Maybe I fit

In another planet

Another time

Another dimension 

Or maybe nowhere 

July 3, 2013 

اللي فات مات

the past has passed

اللي فات مات

الماضي وهم

كأنه ما كان

ولا حصل

9/11/2012

If

I could've been

Gentler

Warmer

More loving

Now it's too late

You're gone

💧😢

جنب الحب

كل شي جنب الحب 

صغير وحقير 

الخوف 

الظن 

الظروف 

الزمن 

المكان

 الأفكار 

الآراء

 الغيرة 

التملك

Friendships

Some friends are like going to the circus. You have fun. But when the show is over, khalas, they leave and you go home.
Some are like the movie theatre, or a tv series.
But the best are the ones that we see ourselves through. We feel their deep love and care, they help us evolve, they feed our souls, they are fascinated with us, we are fascinated with them. No lies, no deception, you can be totally yourself, no fear of judgement.
You feel you become one, you, time, space, other people, the music, all becomes one. All becomes love.
٣٠/١٢/٢٠١٣

الحب is love

الحب... Love is

Love transcends time and place

Space and distance collapse

In a single infinite point

Of feeling

Love transcends death 

Love is life

Life is love

Love is the source of life

If it dies

It is not love

Love is immortal 

Love is the beginning 

and the end

Before the beginning 

and beyond the end

Love is 

Beginningless 

endless

The internal

The immortal

Beyond shape and form

Above logic 

The holiest 

The ultimate 

The meaning of it all

The essence of everything 

and everyone

The fabric of Being

Love is existence 

الحب مش انواع

ولا أشكال

الحب كل الألوان

أصل الوجود

نبض الأكوان 

كل الأبعاد

سر الخلود

كل الإحساس 

الحب هو الأساس 

كل الشعر

والشعور

كل موسيقا وكل صوت

وكل شي خارج الحب 

موت

وأوهام 

الحب مش خيال

ولا أحلام 

الحب هو الحقيقة الوحيدة

الموجودة

بدون الحب

الحياة كابوس مزعج

من غير معنى

او طعم ولون

صحراء جرداء

الحب هو الكون

والكينونة

كل شي خارج الحب 

عدم

الحب هو معنى الحياة

الحب هو الحياة ذاتها

الحب ما بيموت love doesn't die

الحب ما بيموت

ما بصدق

الحب الصادق بيموت 

بيتراكم عليه زفته وخرى

ووجع قلب

وجروح 

بس يموت؟ مستحيل

اذا مات يعني ما كان موجود

الحب هو كل شي

كيف ممكن كل شي يموت

مستحيل

الحب هو اللي بيعطي معنى للحياة

وطعم

مستحيل يتبخر في الهوا

متل الكذب

متل الوهم

يصبح عدم 

But we are now total strangers

We are not friends , never in touch 

I look your name up online out of curiosity. 

You seem happy, healthy and successful

You have your own safe comfortable world

which I'm not part of

In which I never stepped

Of which I know nothing

And I'm a total stranger to you

You seem to have love and luck too

I wonder if I ever occur to you

Maybe when you listen to music I played once with you

Maybe when you hear a song you shared with me 

I'm happy you're doing well

I still don't understand

How can this happen?

I don't think it's right

How does love die like that?

Was it really love?

Because if it was it wouldn't have died. 

Selling your soul to the devil

You don't understand 

I don't think you will

I sold my soul to the devil once 

And for years 

I tasted luxury

I enjoyed convenience

But the emptiness only grew bigger

I was alive

But dead inside

The bad karma grew huge

I paid the price

For years

I paid in suffering

And rivers of tears

I'm not surprised you can't see

I couldn't see

For years

I wasted my life

And my precious soul

It is a miracle

That I was able to redeem myself

And retrieve my soul

From the claws of the devil

You won't understand 

I'm trying to spare you

The pain to come

When you realize

The mistake you're doing

I walked the path 

You so eagerly want to walk

I injured myself

Some of the wounds will never heal

And I feel

You will 

Go 

And do what I did

I wish you could listen 

With your heart

Put your intellect aside

And feel my words

Don't serve the devil

You'll never gain

You think you can 

Serve evil 

Yet win

No

I tell you again

Don't

Compromise 

Don't participate 

You can change things

Create

Something real

Don't serve this fake institution

Don't sell your values

Don't

It's prostitution 

I know

I was one of the prostitutes

I prostituted my mind

And heart

To greed

And empty ambition

I was a tool

In their hands

I can't still believe

I'm free

Yes

I'm finally free

I wish you let me spare you

What I've gone through

You will discover for yourself

The emptiness of your choice

The danger of compromise 

They're the devil

In disguise

I'm not talking bullshit

I've been there

I want you to be happy

But will you?

You will be part of the machine

That crushes us all

You'll pray for a fake god

You'll help the rich get richer

And the poor get poorer

And the oppressed get more oppressed

And the powerful get more powerful

Is this why you're here?

Why can't you hear

Me

Plead to you

Don't 

Don't

I've seen many choose 

To serve the gods of greed

And  loose

Their heart and soul

I said what I have to say

Go on your merry way

I wish you the best