i just cant take it anymore...
it is killing me ..
my boss is an asshole , allowing every bully to overpower me and not allowing me to stand for my self , the dickface.
he know i want to keep my job and he threatens me of firing me , because some sits want to out me underneath them in the totem pole. fuck them all. i need to get out of this hell. it is great injustice. yil3an deenhum,... i am so pissed off. i've been handling the matter with the utmost carefulness... and whatever i do , he is not happy enough, he wants more. it is not enough for him to have no conflict but we wants me to kiss asses, akh shou khara hazzalameh, ghabi , gets bullied with extreme ease. and i am the 'weakest link' because i am the non white immigrant ... i have to get out of this place.
They were talking the other day onn Larry King Live on the CNN (of all places) about how our thoughts design our future. all we have to do is to think what we want and it will happen. i catch myself all the time just rerunning the tape in my mind, the tape of shit. and then i remind myslef that i cant do that. tbecause if this theory is true then i'm screwing myself up. also I have to belive in the theory for it to happen. so i need to give myself away to it. i can do that , i did it before, it worked before , both negative and positive images and realities i was able to attract. everything around me says it works. I feel sometimes that i am put in this extremely hard place so that I learn how to raise above it, out of this samsara. the cycle of fucking misery and suffering. In my mind to start, by meditating myself out of it emotionally. and then be able to visualize a different realirty and a different future. i need to access my imagination and courage .. stay cool headed and focus my energy on change
allah kareem
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