حب

كل حجر بيعرفني

كل حجر بيقولي اهلًا 

كل شجرة بتقوللي بحبك

الارض كائن حي

بيحزن وبيفرح

وبيحب

وهاي الارض

مليانة حب 

من قديم الزمان

مليانة حنان

من آلاف السنين

هاي ارضك  

فلسطين 

خيارات

الانسان وليد بيئته. لما نولد ما بنختار مكان ميلادنا ولا اسمنا ولا برجنا ولا الدين اللي المجتمع قرر سلفا نعتنقه. قرر سلفا تتبعه وتقتنع انه الحقيقة المطلقة.

لكن لما نبلش نكبر وننضج ويزيد الوعي والتفكير تبعنا ونملك قرارنا العقلي بنبلش نتفحص معتقدات اللي ربونا: اهلنا وجيراننا واللي بيحكيه التلفزيون وعادات وتقاليد المجتمع اللي ما اخترناه  لكن هو اختارنا. 

بنكتشف انه كتير أشياء مش مزبوطة وان كتير من الأشياء اللي اتعلمناها مش صح.

بنكتشف انه ما في غولة ولا بعبع، والبساط السحري ما بيطير ولا عمرو طار.

 وان مش كل شي اتعلمناه صح. بنقرر ايش منطقي وايش مش منطقي. ايش إنساني وايش مش إنساني. بنكوّن آراء وقناعات جديدة مختلفة عن اللي تربينا عليه. لكن اذا ما نضجنا عقليا او ما تجرأنا نفكر بسبب الخوف والإرهاب الفكري رح نطلع نسخة من اللي قبلنا ونحاول نطلّع أولادنا نسخة طبق الأصل منا. في هاي الحالة ما بيتطور المجتمع. بيظهر مجموعات متشددة جداً في فرض المعتقدات القديمة وعدم قبول التغيير. بيصير في صراع يشد لَورا. صراع ممكن يدمر المجتمع.  

The present is a present

the past has passed
اللي فات مات
الماضي وهم
كأنه ما كان
ولا حصل

الحب ما بيموت love doesn't die

الحب ما بيموت

ما بصدق

الحب الصادق بيموت 

بيتراكم عليه زفته وخرى

ووجع قلب

وجروح 

بس يموت؟ مستحيل

اذا مات يعني ما كان موجود

الحب هو كل شي

كيف ممكن كل شي يموت

مستحيل

الحب هو اللي بيعطي معنى للحياة

وطعم

مستحيل يتبخر في الهوا

متل الكذب

متل الوهم

يصبح عدم 

But we are now total strangers

We are not friends , never in touch 

I look your name up online out of curiosity. 

You seem happy, healthy and successful

You have your own safe comfortable world

which I'm not part of

In which I never stepped

Of which I know nothing

And I'm a total stranger to you

You seem to have love and luck too

I wonder if I ever occur to you

Maybe when you listen to music I played once with you

Maybe when you hear a song you shared with me 

I'm happy you're doing well

I still don't understand

How can this happen?

I don't think it's right

How does love die like that?

Was it really love?

Because if it was it wouldn't have died. 

Sound design - potential music for current project

ظاهرة المزاودة في المجتمع الفلسطيني

ظاهرة المزاودة في المجتمع الفلسطيني بطلت مجرد ظاهرة، صارت تراث وأسلوب حياة وفن ماشالله. والتنظير هو الرياضة القومية عنا هون. بديش أعمم بس وين ما بتطلع بشوف مزاودة وتنظير.

مزاودة في الوطنية والأخلاق والدين والذكاء والشجاعة واللي بدكم إياه. اي شي يخطر عبالكم بتلاقوا من يزاود وينظر.

 الواحد فيهم خبير وما حد بيعرف أحسن ولا اكتر. الواحد منهم حامل فلسطين عكتافه لحاله لباله. الواحد فيهم أبو التقوى وبينَظِّر عالناس في موضوع الدين والتقوى. بيقرر مين صالح ومين طالح وكأن مفاتيح الجنة بايده وكأن الدين مطوّب باسمه.

أما الأخلاق... حدث ولا حرج. ما حد أنظف ولا اشرف منه. وكل الناس وسخة... كل الناس التانية غيره عملاء ومرتشين وفاسدين. أما هو. هو الكمال المكمل هو التمام التام. 

هو اللي عارف طريق تحرير فلسطين. بيزاود على الشهداء وعلى المقاومين. بيزاود على الله والأنبياء في موضوع الدين. أخلاقة هي الأعلى وأفكاره هي الصواب الوحيد. رأيه هو بس السديد الحكيم الرشيد. 

أحلى شي اللي بينظروا عن المقاومة المسلحة. قوم ياخي اتفضل ما حد مانعك. روح دبرلك شي بارودة أو رشاش وطخلك كم مستوطن. حد ماسكك؟ ما تقول صعب الحصول على السلاح. هيهم في الأعراس بيطخطخوا في السما عمال ع بطال. هاي مراجلنا. بدل ما تكتب عفيسبوكك وانت قاعد بتشرب قهوتك وسيجارتك، ياللا قوم فرجينا مراجلك يا أبو الكفاح المسلح وفوهة البندقية. وإلا مستني أبو مازن وأبو خرى يسلحوك؟ وإلا مستني عبد الناصر يطلع من قبره ويسلحك؟ وإلا مستني منظمة التحرير تنظف وترجع للكفاح المسلح؟ وإلا مستنى يطلع قائد عربي جديد ما ولدته ولاده يقودك ويدربك ويعطيك سلاح وفوقه بوسه؟

لشو التنظير؟ لشو المزاودة؟ مش عارف شو تعمل نقطنا بسكوتك. خايف؟ اسكت وانستر. مش عاجبك المقاومة السلمية؟ فرجينا مقاومتك المسلحة تنشوف. 

بلا خيبة.   

Selling your soul to the devil

You don't understand 

I don't think you will

I sold my soul to the devil once 

And for years 

I tasted luxury

I enjoyed convenience

But the emptiness only grew bigger

I was alive

But dead inside

The bad karma grew huge

I paid the price

For years

I paid in suffering

And rivers of tears

I'm not surprised you can't see

I couldn't see

For years

I wasted my life

And my precious soul

It is a miracle

That I was able to redeem myself

And retrieve my soul

From the claws of the devil

You won't understand 

I'm trying to spare you

The pain to come

When you realize

The mistake you're doing

I walked the path 

You so eagerly want to walk

I injured myself

Some of the wounds will never heal

And I feel

You will 

Go 

And do what I did

I wish you could listen 

With your heart

Put your intellect aside

And feel my words

Don't serve the devil

You'll never gain

You think you can 

Serve evil 

Yet win

No

I tell you again

Don't

Compromise 

Don't participate 

You can change things

Create

Something real

Don't serve this fake institution

Don't sell your values

Don't

It's prostitution 

I know

I was one of the prostitutes

I prostituted my mind

And heart

To greed

And empty ambition

I was a tool

In their hands

I can't still believe

I'm free

Yes

I'm finally free

I wish you let me spare you

What I've gone through

You will discover for yourself

The emptiness of your choice

The danger of compromise 

They're the devil

In disguise

I'm not talking bullshit

I've been there

I want you to be happy

But will you?

You will be part of the machine

That crushes us all

You'll pray for a fake god

You'll help the rich get richer

And the poor get poorer

And the oppressed get more oppressed

And the powerful get more powerful

Is this why you're here?

Why can't you hear

Me

Plead to you

Don't 

Don't

I've seen many choose 

To serve the gods of greed

And  loose

Their heart and soul

I said what I have to say

Go on your merry way

I wish you the best

هالراس

اقطعوه

راسي

عحسابكم

وعلقوه

على باب المدينة

خلوه عبرة

 لمن يعتير

او لا يعتبر

عحسابكم

يا بني امي

بلا منه هالراس

مغلبني أصلا

صحتين عليكم

أوهام صداقة

واضح انك
بتعتبري
عادي انك
تجرحيني
وعادي جداً
تتركيني
بدون اعتذار
أو اي أسف
على اللي صار
لا تسألي
ولا تحسي فيّه
كأني
مش موجودة
كأني
انسانة خفية
كأني معلش
حلال
جرحي
وحلال
تهينيني
وكأنه
مافي مشكلة
تتجني علي
وتظلميني
سو هادا
ما يستأهل
انا اتراضى؟
يالللا وشو عليه
لا انتي اول
من جرحني
وغيرك
قبلك
كتير
ذبحني
عشان يعني
أعطيتك أهمية؟
وحطيتك على راسي
وفي عينية
كبر راسك
واتشطرتي عليَّ؟
أعطيتك اهتمام
وهذا كان
اكبر غلط
مهوّ الاحترام
مع اللي ما بيحترم
ما عمرو زبط
تعاليتي
وتكبرتي
لا تلوميني
انتي اللي اخترتي
تجرحيني
بدون إحساس
ولا اي ندم
كأني ولا شي
اقل من العدم
شكرًا الك
على الدرس
مش ببلاش
هاي الدروس
مش ببلاش
ولا بفلوس
هاي الدروس
حقها الم
حقها الندم
شكرًا يختي
انك صححتي
اوهامي
وصحتيني
من أحلامي
أحلام هبلة
مالها أساس
في الواقع
عن صداقة
أزلية
وأرواح بتتلاقى
بحرّية
أحلامي الوردية
السخيفة
العبيطة
الطفولية

Why write

Nawal Sadawi says that she writes because she enjoys writing, no matter what the price is, she writes because nothing is as joyful to her than writing, not even life itself.
I wish to be like her. I
aim to be like her.
Not vain, not a martyr.
Not write out of urgency or necessity.
Not write out of isolation and marginalization.
Write out of pure joy.
Joy that is bigger than love and life.
Joy bigger than fear of death or judgement of people or my own judgement.
Write because it's one of my natural states of being.
Create constantly intensively, without fear or judgement or drama.
Create because it's my essence to create and that is the way to ultimate joy.
Create because that's what makes life meaningful.
No inhibitions.
No holding back.

Nawal!
Grant me your courage.
Grant me your independence and confidence.
You're a light that has always and will always shine in my life.

Wrong place.. Wrong time.. المكان الغلط... والزمان الغلط

I thought I was in the wrong place
It turned out that I'm in the wrong time
When you're in the wrong time
Every place is the wrong place
كنت بفكر اني في المكان الغلط
طلعت في الزمان الغلط
لما الزمان يكون غلط
اي مكان بيصير غلط

The only right place is the placeless.. The spaceless..
The only right time is the timeless, the infinite, the eternal..

Ingleezi

مش فاهمة ليش في عرب ما بيحكوا مع بعض غير انجليزي. مش كلمة هون وكلمة هون، لا كله انجليزي. ليش؟ ولاد اللورد   والّا بنات هير ماجستي الكوين؟

والا عندهم عقدة نقص بتخليهم يبجلوا لغة المستعمر؟

وبلَكنة امريكي غالبا.

انا عشت أكثر من نص حياتي بعد البلوغ في شمال امريكا بس بستحي من حالي لأني صعب علي احكي عربي كامل بدون كلمة انجليزي هون والّا هون.

ماله العربي؟

 ولسة ناس اكتر ما بيتراسلوا غير بالانجليزي، مش مراسلات شغل، لا، ايميلات صحاب، جلسات تشات... 

  هل هذه فزلكة أم ماذا؟.بعض هاي الناس ما عمرها طلعت برة البلد او زارت بلاد اللغة الانجليزية

 انا عشت سنين طويلة بالانجليزي , كنت اشتغل وافكر واحلم واكتب واقرأ واعبّر عن نفسي بالانجليزي . وبرضه بخجل من حالي عشان صعب علي اكتب عربي بسهولة. وببذل جهد اني اكتب عربي

يا ترى شو اصل هاي الظاهرة في الطبقة الهاي فاي أو اللي حابين يُعتبروا منها؟

بحب اعرف عن تاريخها وكيف اتطورت.

شي غريب يا ناس.

World War Three

Revolution Attempt

Get your free kaz - #sounddesign #music #iidj :

Nuclear Candy (Made in the U.S of A) غرام - انتقام #SoundDesign #AudioArt #Resistance #Iraq

Trusting you for Real Democracy?

p.s : "You" and "Me" doesnt necessarily mean the individual you and me, but more the big YOU and the big ME. 

I recently got involved with an initiative that was brought to me by Israeli ProPalestinian activists. They asked Palestinians who cant vote in Israel to take their votes, as a form of protest, they committed to voting according to instructions of those Palestinians who don't have the 'right' to vote in 'Israel'. They used the system they disagree with to make a statement. Some think of this as hypocrisy or normalization. Not me. I welcomed the initiative and the attempt to reach out and build bridges. I took things with a clean heart and innocence. I've been reaching out to antizionist Jews in Palestine and elsewhere. I took a chance and participated. Unfortunately it wasn't a positive experience. I was left with the usual bitterness I'm left with whenever I put hope in 'the other side'. I felt used and betrayed. I felt angry. 

Wow? all that because we edited your statement? 

No. you didn't 'edit' my statement. There is a difference between editing and making up stuff I didn't say, shoving it in the middle of my statement and when I object telling me I shouldn't make a big deal. That is typical patronizing behaviour of the entitled. You didn't value the trust I gave you, you didn't understand the risk I took when I took a chance on you. How could you? you are acting with entitlement. You wanted to promote your good deed and feel good about yourself, ease your guilty conscience. calm your white guilt. That was much more important than reaching out, building trust and laying a foundation for an equal partnership and a common future. 

I lived among racist white people in the past. I know white guilt and white virtue when I see them. When I say white, I don't necessarily mean the color. White isn't just a color, it is a place of power and privilege. 

I have an entitlement meter. Being from the middle class and having my own privileges too compared to the less privileged put me in two places at once. I was confronted with my bullshit in the past. I moved up and down the ladder constantly which made my privilegeometer sharp and sensitive. You took me for granted and thought of yourself as the hero of heros for considering my existence. Of course you're doing much better than the crazy zionists you're surrounded with, but you need to do much better than this. 

You need to understand I don't trust you. You never gave me any reason to trust you. On the contrary. You gave me all the reasons in the world to not trust you. I learned that trusting you always proves to be a mistake. And you keep breaking any trust I dare to give you when I'm foolish enough to give you a chance. You go and prove me foolish. You embarrass me with those around me and most importantly with myself. The stupid are the ones who never learn. The reckless trust those who prove they're not trustworthy. But I will resist the temptation. I won't close my heart, yet I have to be extra careful. I also have to tell you my truth with open honesty. I won't let it pass. You can't tell me it's not a big deal or not make it a big deal. I decide what is a big deal for me. When I take a chance on you I am swimming against the mainstream current. I risk being called a normalizer by some. I have never been and will never be a normalizer. I refuse the status quo. I refuse the existence of the Jewish state. I don't believe in Israel's right to exist. I believe Israel is nothing but a mythical tribe with imaginary history used by zionists as an excuse to steel our land and lives. I do believe in the right of the people who call themselves Israelis to exist and live in peace and harmony with the children of Palestine, now that they're here. No one has the right to 'throw them into the sea' or treat them the way they treated us. I believe in the one state solution which means I believe they too will be future citizens of a new democratic free Palestine,  As long as they respect this land and its children. I acknowlege our common humanity and believe in the goodness in every human spirit. I believe we are all a product of our conditioning and we need to clean up our mind and heart in order to get along and resolve our common problems.

I refuse and fight Zionism with all my might. I gave you a chance because I believe in a one state called Palestine. For all Palestinians here and in the exile. A state that you will be part of. A New Democratic free Palestine in which we are all equal. In which you are a citizen just like me. I reached out because I wanted to know you, measure you, feel you. I saw whiteness, I saw someone swinging around their undeserved privileges in the form of entitlement. No need to make a big deal of it, you say. If you're not smart enough to see that your future depends on me and people like me just like I can see that the only solution has to involve you and we have to be partners then we're leaving matters in the hands of crazy extremists who will burn the place down on all our heads and who will persecute me and you. You acted with entitlement. You gave yourself the right to put words in my mouth, words i didn't say. You acted like it's strange and a big deal that i was disturbed by your behaviour. That is a typical way those who feel entitlement behave. As long as you don't see how you act like you own the world then there's no hope for a dialogue or a solution. I still wont give up on you though.